OH GOD MEN!

'Be simple and patient’, he said as he looked down at the Rolex and shifted uneasily. He had a flight to catch.' Never be in a hurry and avoid praying, god doesn’t count his blessings, you don’t count his praying time', he said half closing his eyes and eying the exit. Barely 50 minutes left for the flight and the driver wasn’t there yet.’ God is always there, with you down the path of life, if you just sit and meditate you will feel him around you, within you, clearly any obstacles you face'. He got up hurriedly as he saw the car arrive, rushing down the aisle, praying that the path to the airport was clear. 

Meet the modern god man. 

Funny how, in a country where poverty is a major issue existing in all parts of the country, people still manage to provide more to the gods than to their own family. 

The tax free trusts are loaded heavier than the national treasury. Isn’t someone who supposedly created everyone and everything, obviously self sustainable and content? Or maybe we blindly follow our ritualistic tradition of bribing, in this case for a better life in exchange for paper money. Even if you believe in that for a minute, do you really think God follows the business model of LIC ? That he needs such men as agents and officers to promote the universal well being in exchange for the gratification of insatiable carnal desires.

This might seem a little stupid and cheeky, but although Indians are one of the smartest races in terms of mental power, the things we do at the orders of people who don’t even have a high school certificate are downright foolish.  No, marrying a tree or dog does not ward off evil spirits. When the Guru asks you to take your clothes off in order free yourself from mortal greed , he is just getting you naked. A set of random rocks on your hands won’t change the solar system and it sure as hell won’t get you a job/wife/money. The only one benefiting out of all this jewellery is the jeweler.

We need to grow up and wake up fast, look behind the hypnotic saffron. When they say they sense an evil soul nearby, you now know where to look.   A constant touring and traveling god man does transcend beyond the normal range of an average human, but only in the areas of conjuring and counterfeiting actual achievements by some rare individuals. Agreed Indians are a wee bit religious and superstitious, but who would believe that we give our inheritances away for the peace of those who gave their blood and sweat for that very inheritance.

‘Selling Moksha’ is the best business that has even been, no degrees needed. Suck it, Harvard.

How to make a Politician

Stir Fried Politician  #FFL

Take a bowl made out of lies, and pour in some the slow moving ineptitude.

In a blender, add sodomy, corruption and servility and blend.

Pour the blended contents to the bowl.

On a chopping board, finely chop up two ounces of social unconsciousness and a cup of hypocrisy.

Empty the bowl and the chopped contents in a greasy pan as flat as the politician itself.

Stir it slowly till the aroma of manipulation and deceit fills the air.

As the politician turns brown and wrinkled, sprinkle some fresh tyranny and dehydrated self obsession.

Slowly saute it till it’s toothless, slobbering, fatty and half dead.

Serve hot. (With extra douchery on the side)

Now as you taste the Pièce de résistance , as you savor the sting, zing and smack and let it settle over a period of time you might get constipated, nauseated and develop suicidal tendencies while the people all around  face economic slowdowns, scandals and highly inflated interest rates. But well, you cooked it, now swallow it. The only good part about it is that it would not stretch on for five long years.

Long live..Deadmockrecy.

The Government of Governing Things

‘That government is best which governs least.’”
       Henry David Thoreau

That’s what he wrote. When M.K. Gandhi translated it, during his satyagraha campaign while in South Africa, he might have omitted ‘least’ and read it as – That government is best which governs. So it’s not a big surprise that his birth child ‘The Indian government’ works on the same principle till date and would keep doing it in smooth, unperturbed perpetual motion.

 India is now the tenth largest economy in the world in terms of nominal GDP, but its own Gravely Dysfunctional Politics has created the insides of this economy as such that Amartya Sen still rakes his brains understanding it,but in vain. Since independence, India's balance of payments on its current account has been negative. Did the Brits cash out a cheque as severance pay when they left? Or maybe the Government finally got their hand in the cookie jar and since then, has just grown fat and diabetic. Yes, the only sector untouched by corruption is the MPL. What’s MPL? Oh right, I just made it up. Such is the debauchery in deviating from the ideal system that there’s no one left untouched and unbiased by it. If corruption is the icing on the cake of the state affairs, the cherry on top would be the astonishingly shameless bureaucracy. To make numerous policies and go haywire during implementation is the art only we are lucky enough to watch on a daily basis. Funny how the people who sit in the chairs that govern us make laws, policies, amendments and indictments  in the language that they can barely speak. However, when couple of rapes are publicized a new ‘women helpline’ is allotted (thank you Ms Dipshit); which is either too busy or barely bothered. But, the government has the patience that even Buddha could not achieve (he should have tried the money tree instead of the banyan). Continuous whining, bickering and complaining goes unattended just like the poor guy in a government office. 

Nothing can be done about it, except maybe writing posts. Those who say it’s a pessimistic approach obviously did not have their morning coffee. Indians have always been simple and traditional, following our cultures and morals,getting frustrated and then going back to routine. We were hardwired to follow Gandhi, we are still following him.