Monday Mournings(sic)

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. And there you are laying on a serene beach in the silvery moonlight, just laying to the ebb and flow of an equally bored ocean with a cocktail in hand, its little wooden umbrella tilting to the breeze.
Continuous knocking and the jaded 7th alarm snooze.
F*ck you Monday
Ever woke up dreading and bickering just because the strip of light from the half covered window fell directly on your face? And when it revealed the mess around, cursed who did that ? Does blaspheme count as praying ?(since it contains the God's name). Yes, the TV is still on, going on tirelessly, like a drugged rat on the wheel of his cage.Now, the explicit trance of sleeping on a cold morning is disrupted mercilessly with an early call of duty ; the lonely cold shower is just a feeble laughable attempt to shed off the last remains of the treasured slumber.
To add to the dismal start, the global markets seem to have tumbled over the weekend, and with the deadline dead set to stay put, a 'Blood' red carpet graces a hostile work environment. Its like the universe has been personally pissed off at a major level. An hour later, dressed and barely fed,a yawn and a beer-burp later, you drag yourself out , greeted by the loud horn from a stupid automobile.
Goodbye savory,succulent sleep.
Hello,corporate slavery.

OH GOD MEN!

'Be simple and patient’, he said as he looked down at the Rolex and shifted uneasily. He had a flight to catch.' Never be in a hurry and avoid praying, god doesn’t count his blessings, you don’t count his praying time', he said half closing his eyes and eying the exit. Barely 50 minutes left for the flight and the driver wasn’t there yet.’ God is always there, with you down the path of life, if you just sit and meditate you will feel him around you, within you, clearly any obstacles you face'. He got up hurriedly as he saw the car arrive, rushing down the aisle, praying that the path to the airport was clear. 

Meet the modern god man. 

Funny how, in a country where poverty is a major issue existing in all parts of the country, people still manage to provide more to the gods than to their own family. 

The tax free trusts are loaded heavier than the national treasury. Isn’t someone who supposedly created everyone and everything, obviously self sustainable and content? Or maybe we blindly follow our ritualistic tradition of bribing, in this case for a better life in exchange for paper money. Even if you believe in that for a minute, do you really think God follows the business model of LIC ? That he needs such men as agents and officers to promote the universal well being in exchange for the gratification of insatiable carnal desires.

This might seem a little stupid and cheeky, but although Indians are one of the smartest races in terms of mental power, the things we do at the orders of people who don’t even have a high school certificate are downright foolish.  No, marrying a tree or dog does not ward off evil spirits. When the Guru asks you to take your clothes off in order free yourself from mortal greed , he is just getting you naked. A set of random rocks on your hands won’t change the solar system and it sure as hell won’t get you a job/wife/money. The only one benefiting out of all this jewellery is the jeweler.

We need to grow up and wake up fast, look behind the hypnotic saffron. When they say they sense an evil soul nearby, you now know where to look.   A constant touring and traveling god man does transcend beyond the normal range of an average human, but only in the areas of conjuring and counterfeiting actual achievements by some rare individuals. Agreed Indians are a wee bit religious and superstitious, but who would believe that we give our inheritances away for the peace of those who gave their blood and sweat for that very inheritance.

‘Selling Moksha’ is the best business that has even been, no degrees needed. Suck it, Harvard.

LONG LIVE DEATH

Once upon a time, on a chilly dark Saturday night old Mrs. Jules sat by the window looking outside as the world passed by, without a moment of thought, blending into the fog that was all around. Oh! How the time had passed, bringing her less joy and more wrinkles. 

There was a knock on the door. 

'Who is it at this god forbidden hour?!?'

Silly did she know it was death, coming to take her to the inevitable end. 

And there was another knock.

 O what it is!!

'I am death!!’ , Bellowed the cloaked figure, agitated from the unnecessary knocking. 

Beth? What is it child?

Not Beth. DEATH!!!I have come to take you, you old rotting bag of meat!  Yes. Death was pissed. 

‘At this time? Could you come back tomorrow to bake stew? I am too tired today. ’

Looking lifeless, the death returned wondering why it even knocked!

However, not everyone is as lucky as Mrs. Jules. Death is all around us, waiting to swoop in the moment you the other way. It’s the only thing that has been in existence from Stone Age till now. That and cockroaches. 

Death brings you peace in this restless life, an end to the never-ending conundrum.  From the moment you open your eyes, take a breath, the thoughts barge in, too much and too many, your actions and reactions to those thoughts, to the people around, the long term sorrows and the short term joy, the perpetual monotony slowly closing in till the extent of suffocation. Then it is death that brings a sense of solace and completion.  

Although, it would be fun if we could die for a while and wake up at will, not only achieving a monk level meditation, but also a cheap and lazy vacation. Perfectly settling both Indian qualms.

Also if you get the timing right, you can sneak up on people saying things about you.  

Yes, it would be totally weird to wake up in a box; if you get late.

If you look at it in another way, death is the only thing that we cannot choose. We are in sort of a poker game with the nature. For each of our nuclear advancement and genetic breakthrough, nature raises us a new virus and mass genocide. A tornado for each time we dig deeper for oil and gold. We are pretty much pissing off the biggest bully in the schoolyard, what do you expect?

Philosophically, aren’t we all a little dead inside?  Some lost their souls, some got theirs killed while others just traded it to be like the rest. We have grown from a calm, self sustaining race to one riddled with morbidity, paranoia and greed. We messed up and obviously ran out on the expiration date. It is nature's time to declare extinction so the following words should bring you peace-:          

THE END 

why rape?

 SHAME SHAME PUPPY SHAME, ALL THE RAPISTS TELL YOUR NAME

Man has invented the wheel, brewed beer, has created robots and made them tread different planets. And yes, the same progressive man has disgustingly and inhumanely raped woman for centuries.
Rape is not and has never been a personal accident or bad luck; it is a maniacal crime with a baneful aura which has been treated with bias, used dexterously, for propaganda purposes and even for fake pacification attempts at the behest of the aggravated anti -feminist groups.
If you look at the oh-so-noble world we live in, there is not a place where a woman can consider herself safe. The moment she steps off the bed each and every place is a hostile environment for her> rooms,gyms,transport,workplace,bars,streets,farms,airports,cafes,hospitals,schools,colleges.When you think about it the bed is not safe too, being the focal point of the very issue. Half the population in the world is a potential victim; even then, rape does not get the proactive attention it needs. A major thorn in the path is the myth that rape is a threat that occurs on the streets at night. The truth however, is far from it. While it’s a common paradigm that rape takes place in some proverbial shady dark alley, it’s an actual fact that 7/10 victims know their attacker and the dreaded act occurs in the home of either the victim or the rapist. Funny how women are taken on guilt-trips by somehow making them think they provoked the attacker with their clothing or gestures. If that is a valid reason rapes should not occur throughout winter or in cold regions? But maybe a girl packed up in a warmer, 2 sweaters and a parka is enticing after all? All you need is a set of prying eyes that put superman to shame.

Instead of the blame games and the introduction of slow help lines, if the issue is to be sorted out, the level of punishment sentenced to the offenders needs to be capital and immoral to the core. A vulgar act needs a vulgar punishment, definitely making the offender think twice.
Picture this, a juicy fat piece of meat tied to the offenders rape tool who is wearing six inch heels escaping a couple of hungry, mentally impaired dogs who throw acid and grope him randomly at any chance they get,  down a shady dark alley. It is not about right?
Even better is to leave them overnight with testosterone spiked bulls in a lonely, isolated shed.

Men show various psychopathic tendencies in almost all women related issues. Does the progress of the women in a shockingly short period make the male chauvinist shift uncomfortably in his feebly dominant position? Furthermore, why are the rapists even allowed lawyers for defense, since they are not human enough to attract human rights?



Don’t Rape. Or I hope an aggressive HOMO finds you.

How to make a Politician

Stir Fried Politician  #FFL

Take a bowl made out of lies, and pour in some the slow moving ineptitude.

In a blender, add sodomy, corruption and servility and blend.

Pour the blended contents to the bowl.

On a chopping board, finely chop up two ounces of social unconsciousness and a cup of hypocrisy.

Empty the bowl and the chopped contents in a greasy pan as flat as the politician itself.

Stir it slowly till the aroma of manipulation and deceit fills the air.

As the politician turns brown and wrinkled, sprinkle some fresh tyranny and dehydrated self obsession.

Slowly saute it till it’s toothless, slobbering, fatty and half dead.

Serve hot. (With extra douchery on the side)

Now as you taste the Pièce de résistance , as you savor the sting, zing and smack and let it settle over a period of time you might get constipated, nauseated and develop suicidal tendencies while the people all around  face economic slowdowns, scandals and highly inflated interest rates. But well, you cooked it, now swallow it. The only good part about it is that it would not stretch on for five long years.

Long live..Deadmockrecy.

End the Silence, Stop the Violence.

The human race has existed for almost two million years. After various physiological, behavioral, natural changes we have reached the hideousness we call - today. The way of living, eating, hunting, mating, socializing has changed over the years, some for the better mostly for the worse. But ironically what has not changed is the level and situation of domestic violence. Domestic violence is the only thing which is untainted and unadulterated. It does not discriminate on the lines of race, age, religion, gender or sexual orientation. You can be a man, child, woman, teenager, grandma, grandpa, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle, mother, neighbor, teacher, student or the domestic help and you still are exposed to domestic violence in some way. Such is the glorifying beauty of humankind.
Domestic violence is one of the broadest and crudest areas of the disturbed state of human affairs on the lowest level which shows glaring holes left in the wake of nonstop economical development. It has various reasons, states and forms, ranging from chafing issues like dowry, illness, stress and jealously to a badly made sandwich. Abuses of physical, sexual, mental occurring at interpersonal stages occur and continue to rise in the lowest slums to the richest households. When you look at this gruesome issue statistically, it is not a bombshell that males are directly or indirectly connected to the violent domestic incidents. Is it considered as a rite of passage? Taken as a compulsory checkpoint en route to manhood? To go overboard for domination and control and risking the love and care over it is a pretty steep deal. Ever heard of lesbians facing domestic issues except the pantsuits and decor? Beating, harassing, torturing and manipulating just to gain domination just makes us the animals we evolved from initially. Its contradicting that we shirk from physical labor in almost all daily activities and yet go through all the effort to satisfy the urge to control and dominate a woman when all you need is a decent pair of earrings. No lawsuit involved. The wholesome effect of such violence is often overlooked. The state of trauma a victim goes through -be it a child, a woman or Abe Lincoln (yes Mary Todd kicked his ass big-time), has lasting repercussions that creates ripples throughout their living memory and the other connected with them through friends and family. What is disturbing is that this issue is not new, it is as old as the mankind itself, yet the level of precaution and awareness has barely increased with respect to the increase in quantity and degrees of violence in such cases.


But one has to agree that men do have some serious balls! To beat and kick the crap out of a defenseless woman when one rightly placed kick can shut the lights out for them, is one big gamble.

Now you must think woman has always been the victim, that each and every one of them deserves care and protection. Also, that woman is always on the receiving end of these brutal and inhumane acts of sadist insanity. But have you ever been to salons and nail parlors? To stores selling hand-loom and crockery and cosmetics and jewellery and little platform heels ? The sullen zombie look on faces of the men, as their brain drains out from the dull nagging sound is the simplest and crudest form of mental abuse. Look at them closely. Their sadness is chilling. Yes men do commit heinous acts of abuse. But they just break bodies. Women crush souls if they want to. But then, they don’t build up relations first. They don’t beat you up in public in front of your friends.
This issue is not contained by a home or any specific country. Not by a single reason of alcoholism or stress. After all the powerful and political changes the world has seen, relating to the state of the woman, why does the evolution along these lines not affect this particular issue? In a state of absolute comparison, where one man built a tomb for his dead wife and the other whose Wife is in pieces right next to the frozen foods is the 'man'kind evolving or devolving?

Deranged Arrange Marriage

FYI: If you find the post long and tiring, then you have not been to an Indian Wedding.
The bag over his head seems suffocating; the new shirt still has a label sticking to it. He moves around, fidgety and worried, looking around for some signs of support or people who can give him some. A gentle dab on the forehead is replaced by continuous stabbing. She enters; the heels make her look tall and shapely, but why does she feel like tightrope walker. Stuttering, silent greetings are exchanged, most likely mumbled at the same time and then a huge block of ice is placed between them. Shuffling looks, hyperactive tapping of feet, fingers looking for something to hold and throat dry as the ice in front; love at first sight? After an hour of talk that would put retards to shame, the warriors return home to gossip hungry relatives and highly interrogative parents.An arranged marriage has just been arranged. Agreed, the guy was not wearing the bag, but he wished he had one, the moment she stepped in.

Fast forward to the doomsday, it is like Ides of March all over again. People attend in hundreds to enjoy the festivities, some invited while other tag along for free. Then there is the noise of the mob and spectators, who arrive wearing fancy flowing clothes to enjoy the drinks and dances *hiccup* and drinks and dances, some looking real pretty and all. Why is everyone drinking so much, without me?
There is not much difference between the two scenarios. In Ides of March, Caesar was killed by the conspiring senators as he headed to the theater; here the bridegroom heads to the stage for a moral stabbing and the aunts become the senate.
Only luck Caesar had was that he was stabbed 23 times and died a quick death.
Over the clinks and hisses of the awkwardly groomed uncles the couple meet on stage and like two disciplined fighters bow to each other in respect, placing garlands of sticky wet flowers. Barely meeting for the third time they vow to be with each other i.e. sleeping with each other forever ;followed by super charged photo sessions used as conclusive proofs for eternity.

Finally, when half the guests are asleep and other half are drunk they are thrown in a room amongst sarcastically stupid giggles for the final showdown. All the mess makes the family forget about the
...Oh the remaining whiskey bottles!!! Sry. Gtg. Ttyl

- Drunk fat uncle*hiccup*