The Government of Governing Things

‘That government is best which governs least.’”
       Henry David Thoreau

That’s what he wrote. When M.K. Gandhi translated it, during his satyagraha campaign while in South Africa, he might have omitted ‘least’ and read it as – That government is best which governs. So it’s not a big surprise that his birth child ‘The Indian government’ works on the same principle till date and would keep doing it in smooth, unperturbed perpetual motion.

 India is now the tenth largest economy in the world in terms of nominal GDP, but its own Gravely Dysfunctional Politics has created the insides of this economy as such that Amartya Sen still rakes his brains understanding it,but in vain. Since independence, India's balance of payments on its current account has been negative. Did the Brits cash out a cheque as severance pay when they left? Or maybe the Government finally got their hand in the cookie jar and since then, has just grown fat and diabetic. Yes, the only sector untouched by corruption is the MPL. What’s MPL? Oh right, I just made it up. Such is the debauchery in deviating from the ideal system that there’s no one left untouched and unbiased by it. If corruption is the icing on the cake of the state affairs, the cherry on top would be the astonishingly shameless bureaucracy. To make numerous policies and go haywire during implementation is the art only we are lucky enough to watch on a daily basis. Funny how the people who sit in the chairs that govern us make laws, policies, amendments and indictments  in the language that they can barely speak. However, when couple of rapes are publicized a new ‘women helpline’ is allotted (thank you Ms Dipshit); which is either too busy or barely bothered. But, the government has the patience that even Buddha could not achieve (he should have tried the money tree instead of the banyan). Continuous whining, bickering and complaining goes unattended just like the poor guy in a government office. 

Nothing can be done about it, except maybe writing posts. Those who say it’s a pessimistic approach obviously did not have their morning coffee. Indians have always been simple and traditional, following our cultures and morals,getting frustrated and then going back to routine. We were hardwired to follow Gandhi, we are still following him.

 

Why so serious?

Isn’t suicide the best display of bravery by man?

When I say man, I mean it, because a woman barely likes her appearance when she is setting it up for hours, so imagine when she starts to get the 'perfect suicide look’, the idea of dying is replaced by the pedicure deal on the nearby spa. 

For a million dollars, would you walk into a room filled with gasoline and a tensed chain smoker? If you're suicidal, you would be the one with the lighter. 

Suicide is an act of bravery; to know what is about to happen and still go on with it needs some serious balls. It is one thing to see the light but totally another to run after it. What is the last thought as the bottle rolls off the palm/the toe leaves the stool/the blood drips from the mutilated vein? It’s usually said that all the best moments of life come back to you in a flashback of sorts. So, technically the best moments of your life lead to shooting yourself in your head.

The idea of suicide is somewhat selfish and darkly comic, but the reasons behind it can be highly serious and disturbing. Lost love, a pile of debt, parental/peer pressure, poverty, social insecurity, drug addiction and in some cases, plastic surgeries gone bad. To sum it up, when you start to take your shit way too seriously, you die. That’s the whole point of it. People take everything too damn seriously. We need to learn how to just simply walk away, to let it be what it is and not provide it with a natural full stop of our own. It is not actually very smart that after all the effort, joys, sorrows and pains that have been put into to achieve all the money, power and luxury that you sheepishly end it with a dusty ceiling fan and a length of rope. If you are going to kill yourself and you are pretty much sure about it, be clear about how you will do it at least. Don’t mess a suicide or how will you live with yourself the rest of your life? That’s the other thing about suicides. It’s your last act; the least can you do is be creative. Don’t be a drab and just do what you saw on the TV the other day. Kill yourself from overeating of blueberry pies or skydiving, making a mold of semi frozen vodka and fitting inside it as it freezes you to death while you lick it or trying to ride a shark with a piece of meat hanging by your side.

If you gotta die, you gotta die. But life’s not half bad, it’s just messed up and weirdly complex; if you are young, you have a whole another life ahead of you, if your old, you have been through worse and if you’re a woman...go ahead, I dare you.